Jane Austen’s Christmas Cracker
An interactive holiday ball.
An original play, based on the works of Jane Austen. By Erin Woods.
8 women, 4 men
JANE
I am afraid, Cassandra, this exquisite weather is too good to agree with some of our guests. I enjoy it all over me, from top to toe, from right to left, longitudinally, perpendicularly, diagonally; and I cannot but selfishly hope we are to have it last till Christmas Day – nice, crisp, frigid weather.
CASSANDRA
You may be the only one with praise for bad weather, sister.
JANE
I am sure you are right. I look forward to some months of all ladies I meet drawn into their fires, complaining that they ‘never felt such bitterness of cold before,’ that they are ‘half starved, quite frozen, and wish the mild weather back again’ with all their hearts.
CASSANDRA
The melancholy part will be to see so many frozen young women standing by without partners.
JANE
My dear Cassandra, we always want for young men. To-night will be no different.
CASSANDRA
With your birthday so near, my single hope is that you are pleased with the ball.
JANE
Like all balls, I expect to find I am more amused than delighted. My hair is at least tidy, which was all my ambition.
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